The Good Ship
by Lady Starlight so kiss my ass
Summary: Rumors will take over the world if they don’t get sorted out. That’s what out Trio is doing. Covers several ships, slash and het. You have been warned. All pairings are mentioned inside. OneShot. HPSB.


**Title:** The Good Ship

**Pairing:** Harry/Sirius,Hermione/Remuswith mentions of many others. Ron/Mione, Dra/Mione, Har/Mione, Gin/Dra, Har/Dra, Har/Sir/Sev/Rem, Albus/Min, Ron/Luna, and Dra/Blaise.

**Rating:**M because fanfiction had a mind of its own.

**Warning:** Harry/Sirius, other slash and het pairings mentioned. Language. Can't think of anything else.

**Summary:** Rumors will take over the world if they don't get sorted out. That's what out Trio is doing. Covers several ships, slash and het. You have been warned. All pairings are mentioned inside. OneShot.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Sue me and that is exactly what you will get.

**Words:** 2,593

**Rambles(1):** I saw something in one of the Forumsthat pissed me off and made me start this story. There is no "GOOD SHIP" in Harry Potter, because that is an egotistical thing to say. There are many different ships, and to assume yours is the best makes you ignorant and stupid. Ron/Hermione might be considered Cannon but they are not the only way to write Harry Potter fiction.

**Rambles(2):** This story covers several ships that I more commonly see. Enjoy, have fun and be warned. There is SLASH in here, because the characters have minds of their own. Trust me, this was supposed to be a humorous piece of fluff. It is also my very first Sirry one-shot that I actually finished. Go me.Reviewsare loved and no flames please.

**The Good Ship**

**Lady Starlight so kiss my ass**

The three best friends sat around a table in the empty library their school had, arguing about a topic they were all familiar with. Rumors. Gossip. Life had been busy for them in the past couple of months, so now was the time that they would get together and hash out anything that they had heard and that they wanted answers too.

The current _topique de jour?_ Dating.

"How can you even _think_ that is a possibility?" Hermione Granger demanded her brown hair braided out of her face and her chocolate eyes narrow in something very close to insult.

"It's not that impossible, honestly Hermione," Ron Weasley complained. His red hair and freckles only made his blue eyes look sapphire.

"It is absolutely insane Ronald," Hermione scowled darkly and Ron glared at her defiantly.

"Why? How is it so crazy? Harry, tell her it's not crazy."

Harry Potter glanced between his two best friends and threw his hands up in self-defense. "Actually Ron, I'm going to have to agree with Mione on this one. It's too bizarre for words." Harry turned his emerald green eyes back to his book while he ran a hand through his messy raven black hair.

"HARRY!" Ron shouted, completely taken back. Hermione beamed at Harry happily.

"Thank you Harry," she said with a smile.

"No problem Mione. I told you, I completely agree."

"What does Potter agree with?" Draco Malfoy drawled as he slid into a seat beside Harry.

"The ridiculousness of the rumors circuiting around lately." Hermione informed him with a roll of her eyes.

Draco's clear blue eyes lit up mischievously. "Are you talking about the ones that center around the two of us and how we're having a hot, lavish affair behind Potter and Weasley's backs?" His grin turned lethal as Ron started choking on his own breath.

"Wh-wha-WHAT!" The red head demanded and Hermione snorted out a laugh.

"Oh honestly Ronald, that is as absurd as the idea of the two of us planning our wedding and you know it!"

"I know no such thing!" Ron grumbled. "Really, Hermione what is so strange about it? You don't complain this badly when everyone says that you are pregnant with Harry's love child."

Harry started laughing quietly while Hermione giggled. "Harry happens to be the second smartest student in our year, he is ridiculously famous and saved the world from the evil git we all know as Voldemort – Don't wince Ronald, its childish. I am honored to have my name tied to his, even if it is for something a ridiculous as me being pregnant."

"She just wants be for my money." Harry coughed out between bursts of laughter and Hermione easily followed suit. When they calmed down Harry rubbed at his eyes before grinning at Ron.

"She loves me, what can you say?"

"Bugger off Harry," Ron grumbled.

"Language Ronald!" Hermione snapped. "Really, I love you too, you know you are the last of my family."

"What about me?" Draco whined, having had enough of being left out.

"I still love you Draco," Ginny cooed as she popped up beside him.

"Err, right… anyway," Draco cleared his throat, leaning back in his chair to get away from Ginny. "If you're not dating any of us, just who _are_ you seeing?"

"What makes you think I'm seeing anyone?" Hermione demanded to know.

"The rumors," Harry, Ron, and Draco said in sync.

"What rumors?" Hermione asked bewildered. She spent most of her time ignoring them.

"The ones that say you're seeing someone," Harry grinned wickedly at her. "Apparently pretty little Mione has had her head up in the clouds a little to much for the Hogwarts Gossip System."

Hermione blushed crimson and shook her head in denial. "I have no idea what you're talking about Harry."

"Actually," Ginny said, sliding into a seat as she draped herself across a fidgeting Draco. "Harry's right, I've heard all the rumors and I agree, you're far too distracted."

"Ginny?" Hermione asked sweetly.

"Yes Hermione?"

"Shut up."

"Boo," Ginny muttered but no one was sure if it was in response to Hermione or to the fact that Draco had unwrapped himself and was currently trying to hide behind now standing Harry.

"Actually," Draco said and winked at Harry. "They are saying the same thing about our Hero here, that's why they think Hermione's pregnant."

Harry and Hermione roll their eyes at each other and scoffed. "As honorable as that is," Harry said and winked at Hermione. "I'll take a pass on it, no offence Love."

"None taken Hero."

"Draco," Ginny stood and slid over to the blond who was using Harry as a human shield. Harry glanced between the two and sidestepped out of the way

"HARRY!" Draco whined as he started backing up. "Stop her!"

But Ginny continued advancing, a devilish smile on her face. Draco backed up towards Harry and wrapped his arm around Harry's waist, so that the young man couldn't get loose.

"See, Draco, this is the reason people believe I am cheating on Hermione with you," Harry shook his head as he tugged himself out of Draco's arm.

"Can you please not remind me of that?" Ron whined and shuddered. "I really don't need the mental images."

"Sure you do Weasley," Draco drawled and gave Ron a wink.

"Who wouldn't?" Ginny asked with a dreamy smile and Harry and Draco turned white with disgust. They were friends now, but Merlin that was a disgusting thought.

"You'd think they'd be able to think of something more creative then that," Harry rolled his eyes and shook his head, tanking a drink from his water bottle.

"Oh, you mean how you and Snape, Lupin and Black like to play naked-twister every Friday night after everyone has gone to bed?" Draco smiled innocently as Harry started to choke on his water.

"Where the fuck did you hear that?" Harry demanded as he tried to breathe again.

"From Dumbledore."

"Was he on the bad drugs when he said that?" Hermione asked to know and Draco grinned.

"He would have said more had he been."

"That is seriously freaking creepy!" Harry whined. "I did NOT need that mental image!" Harry shuddered looked to Hermione pleadingly. "Kill me now Love, so I never have to see such a thing again!"

Hermione, who was scowling and shaking her head, laughed.

"You know, that's as ridiculous as Dumbledore and McGonagall going to frat parties in the Muggle world."

The five teenager's glanced behind them as they heard voices coming into the library. Two men, in the late thirties, walked towards them, arguing.

"I can not understand why you actually believed it Paddy," Remus Lupin, graying hair and amber eyes, demanded of his best friend. Sirius Black, who had dark black hair and coal black eyes, shook his head.

"It was more believable then the naked-Twister." Sirius shuddered. "How does Albus think of these things?"

"With years of putting up with the Marauders." Remus glanced up and in spotting the teenagers he smiled.

"No see, Moony mate, we were funny, not down right crude." Sirius shuddered again and grinned when he saw Harry. "Hey, what are you all doing here?"

"Gossiping," Harry, Hermione and Ron said.

"Thought so." Sirius pulled a chair beside Harry and sat down. "Got to get it all out before you Graduate. Did you know, when we were still in school, the Gryffindors all got together in the Common Room and hashed out the rumors that circuited throughout the year. It got very amusing."

"Especially when the fights broke out." Remus grinned. "We have no idea who started it, but every year, on the Sunday before the last week started, we all piled into the Common Room. Nothing that was said was to be repeated to teachers. The fights weren't allowed to be reported."

"We found a lot out that way," Sirius smiled in reminisces.

"My Dad told me about that," Draco said from his seat opposite Harry. Sirius glanced up at him and nodded for him to continue. "They did the same thing in Slytherin and then, during the last week, all the rumors were corrected. The teachers never had a clue."

"It was a fun tradition," Remus smiled. "I think it's some of the few times the Gryffindor's and Slytherins got along."

Hermione smiled at him and looked back to her Defence book and sighed. Remus glanced at her with concern. "Are you having a problem Hermione?"

"Yes actually," she admitted. "I just don't get this."

"Would you like some help Hermione?" Remus offered and the Gryffindor Know-It-All beamed up at him.

"That'd be great Remus, thank you." Hermione picked up her bag, smiled at Harry and left with Remus, who had the book in one arm. They were walking down the empty teacher's wing to Remus's rooms when Hermione spoke again, laughing softly as she did.

"Did you know that the Gossip System thinks I'm too distracted. Apparently I'm seeing someone."

"Are you?" Remus asked, reaching for her hand. The one that secreted a gold ring.

"You tell me." Hermione smiled at him and blushed lightly when he kissed the back of her hand with a knowing grin.

Back in the Library Harry was smiling knowingly at the door Remus and Hermione walked out of.

And they thought they were so discreet.

Yah right.

Harry smiled at his Godfather and rested his chin on his hand. Harry was never able to take his eyes of the man beside him.

"Alright," Ron sighed as he packed his books. "I'm going to find Luna, or something…" Ron left with a final glance at the door Remus and Hermione had walked through. He looked disappointed.

Ginny watched her brother go and latched herself onto Draco. "Draco, sweetie, why don't we go out?" She offered and Draco stood up immediately.

"So sorry Weasley, can't do it. I have, ah, plans with Blaise." Draco glanced around for the nearest exit as he de-latched Ginny again.

"Why Draco? Can't you brake them?"

"Nope, can't do. There…_important_ plans." Draco took off at a dead run and Harry burst out in an uncontrollable laugh.

"I bet I know what kind of _plans_ he has with Blaise," the Man-Who-Defeated-Voldemort started laughing again until tears were forming in his eyes. When he calmed down he caught a glance at Ginny's confused face and started to laugh again.

Ginny scowled at her brother's best friend before storming out of the library. Madam Pince watched her go and glanced back at the laughing boy. Usually, had it been anyone else, she would have kicked the student out of her library, but you did not see Harry Potter laugh much anymore, so she would let it slide, this time.

When Harry stopped laughing he whipped the tears from his eyes and grinned at Sirius, who was shaking his head with amusement.

"Hysterical Harry," Sirius said and Harry snorted again.

"It's true though." Harry smiled and put his books back into his bag. "Do you want to get lunch?" Harry asked and Sirius smiled.

"Absolutely. We can go to London." The couple stood up and walked out of the library.

The two of them walked to Harry's personal chambers, though all his friends had the password so it wasn't that private. "Do you think Remus and Mione have noticed how obvious they are?"

"Probably not," Sirius said as he played with the ends of Harry's thick hair. "But they're in love, so it doesn't matter."

"I think Ron noticed," Harry sighed and shook his head in distress. "I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not."

"Let's think positive until we no longer can."

"Yeah," Harry agreed, smiling at Sirius. "I can do that." The two of them continued to walk in peaceful silence.

"Do you know what you are going to do after you graduate?"

"Siri," Harry groaned and Sirius narrowed his eyes. "We've talked about this already."

"You never answered me though." Sirius pointed out defensively. Harry shook his head as he gave the lion on his door the password. The two of them walked in and Harry glanced around, glad that no one was in there.

"I did answer you. I just never gave you an answer that you liked." Harry closed the door behind himself and looked at Sirius.

"Exactly, you never…" Sirius trailed off as Harry pushed him up against the door and kissed him savagely. Sirius returned the kiss, matching heat with heat, fire with fire, until Harry pulled away, leaving his Godfather breathless and hard.

"I am staying with you. I don't want to play Quidditch for a living and I am sick to death of hunting dark creatures. Dumbledore already offered to let me stay on and teach flying and work with Remus in Defence. I was going to talk to you tonight before telling Dumbledore I accept." Harry dumped his stuff on his bed and glanced back at Sirius with a devilish look in his beautiful eyes.

"Come on now," He smiled silkily. "I want lunch." Harry glanced down at Sirius' crotch with a smirk before pushing past him and walking back out of the room.

"HARRY!" Sirius whined after him and Harry laughed richly. "Harry that's not fair," the Dog Animagus whined.

"Sure it is," Harry walked towards the one-eyed witch statue but before he could give the password he was pushed into the shadows with a very hard Sirius up against him.

"It's not," he whispered before kissing Harry's mouth. Harry's eyes fell shut. His hips moved, grinding hard against Sirius. Sirius could feel the pounding of Harry's blood through his body, he could feel the hitch in Harry's breathing as they moved together.

"Fuck, Siri." Harry dragged Sirius closer, kissing him deeper.

"Yes, fuck Siri, good idea."

Harry moaned out a snicker. He dragged his fingers through Sirius' thick hair and dragged the man's wandering lips back to his own in a hungry kiss. Harry's hands moved down Sirius' back and rested in the mans back pockets as Sirius continued to rain kisses all over Harry face and neck. Sirius' hands in Harry's pants and the young man groaned.

"Siri we can't -oh God- get caught –fuck, yah. One week," Harry got out between moans. "One more _fucking week!_" His hands dragged up Sirius' back through the shirt he was wearing and Sirius groaned in need. "We can't do this out here," Harry finally got out in a rush.

"Why bloody not?" Sirius whined as he fixed Harry's pants.

"One week Love, then I'm not a student anymore. Till then," Harry tilted his head, a smirk on his lust filled face. "We can get lunch later." Harry dragged Sirius back the way they had come. "Or hell, skip lunch all together and go to Dinner."

"Sounds like a good idea."

The couple never noticed that at the other end of the hallway, a boy with mousy-hair stood. A mixture of shock, horror and lust on his innocent face. In his hands was a Muggle video camera that was rewinding itself.

Colin Creevey stared after his hero, stunned. He had only wanted to know how Harry always got out of the castle. He looked down at the camera as it started to play again and his eyes glassed over. He would keep this safe for now, because Harry was a student, and Sirius was teaching Potions. But next year? A grin spread on Colin's face. After all, gossip is what makes Hogwarts home. And if you have proof? All the better.

**The End. --Those words mean you wont get any more on this story. But if I get a lot of reviews, I'll work on another of my Sirry-shots. **


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